


A Matter Of Misunderstandings

by Castastrophe



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blowjobs, Dae is also a bit clueless, First Kiss, First Time, Frottage, Happy Ending, Jiyong is pretty much the only one who isn't, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Seunghyun is a bit clueless, Unresolved Sexual Tension, You don't need to love a guy to suck his dick, end game ToDae, i have no idea what I'm doing at the best of times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6464338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castastrophe/pseuds/Castastrophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seunghyun lives in constant doubt about the blurred lines between fanservice and genuine affection from Daesung. When he works up the courage to ask and walks in on Daesung with their leader, however, he thinks he's found an answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing. This is Tess' fault.

Seunghyun loves Daesung endlessly and without fail. He struggles daily with this burning need - this persistent itch to tell him. It's hard to tell which of Daesung's interactions with him - if any - are real, or whether it's just all fan service, and Seunghyun thinks he might crawl out of his skin trying to figure it out. 

Daesung is always such a grounding presence for him, a necessity that he knows he can't be without.

Can he risk that? Really? Can he possibly throw that away, at the chance of perhaps having more? Soft touches, slick tongues, bare skin? 

Each time his thoughts stray there, he aches with his longing. Daesung's smiles never seem to waver, nor does the heat curling through Seunghyun's entire core. 

But the questions remain. There are too many - layers upon layers of them - and they circle Seunghyun's mind in every waking moment. 

He needs to know. Needs to satisfy the curiosity, hope bubbling in his chest and restricting the oxygen through his lungs. So he braces himself after a concert. He knows he will be able to find Daesung alone, will be able to approach him in his dressing room.

He sucks in a desperate breath as he pushes open Daesung's dressing room door, a flurry of carefully planned out words and confessions dying on his tongue as he meets Jiyong's wide gaze, their leader paling as Daesung scrambles up from his position on his knees.

Seunghyun doesn't say a word and doesn't stick around to listen to theirs, as he turns and leaves. 

At least, he thinks, he has an answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All these chapters are super short. Makes it less daunting for me and it makes sure you get little dribbles of words as often as I can manage. :)

Daesung feels the hot prick of tears at his eyes, hears Jiyong’s sigh from behind him, and he presses his face into his hands as a thick silence falls across them, broken only by the sound of Jiyong’s zipper as he tucks himself away. 

He's fucked up. He's fucked up so badly. 

Behind the shelter of his fingers, the shutter of his eyelids, he can still see Seunghyun’s face like an overexposed image burned into his eyes. He can still recall, with vivid clarity, the exact moment that the blatant shock across Seunghyun’s face faltered, and his hyung’s expression closed off to him completely. 

“Dae, hey,” Jiyong’s voice is soft and coaxing, and just the sound of him as the silent shatters around them is enough for Daesung to heave out a sob. “Come here. It's alright.”  
“Did you see his face?” Daesung asks, as he lifts his gaze from his hands and allows Jiyong to pull him in for a platonic embrace. His leader and lover sighs, rubs soothing hands across Daesung’s back and presses a kiss into his hair.   
“He’ll come to terms with it.”  
“He looked disgusted. Like it physically hurt him,” Daesung murmurs into the wet patch he's forming against Jiyong’s shirt. “I should have known. I thought he'd be okay with… It. With same sex…”  
“He might just be surprised. Don't jump ahead of yourself, Daesungie. I don't think Seunghyun is a homophobe.” 

Jiyong’s words were soft, as soothing as the rubbing of his palms along Daesung’s back. 

“And if he is?” Daesung whispers, not sure if he's talking to Jiyong or himself. “I love him, Jiyongah. If he were to look down upon two men being together sexually, how could he possibly be okay with their romance?”  
“Daesung.” Jiyong’s voice was firmer now, more like the tone of a leader to his band mate than a friend to his lover. “Stop it. You don't know what he's feeling and you won't know until you ask him. Working yourself up over this will do nobody any favours.”

Daesung nods, presses one last sigh into Jiyong’s shirt before he pulls back and wipes at his eyes, studiously avoiding his friend’s gaze. 

Jiyong takes Daesung’s hand and squeezes it, Daesung swallowing thickly against the threat of new tears.   
“Get ready to head back to the hotel, Dae. I'll go find him and talk to him.”

Daesung still doesn't meet Jiyong’s eyes, but when he hears the door snick closed behind Jiyong, he crumples back into his hand, the tears spilling anew.


	3. Chapter 3

Seunghyun paces his dressing room, nausea and hurt mingling and churning in his stomach as he tugs fretfully at his hair and struggles to breathe. Not only has he just had his heart torn from his chest cavity, but the realisation has struck hard and fast that he won't be able to avoid this. Jiyong and Daesung are his friends, but on top of that, he is their colleague and he’ll be expected to handle this professionally for the sake of his career.

Everyday, he will have to stare into Jiyong’s eyes and see the image of Daesung on his knees, their leader slack jawed with glazed eyes and flushed cheeks in the moment before Seunghyun’s presence was known. In the moment where it was still the two of them in their own world. 

Seunghyun slumps into the nearest chair, his heartbeat erratic and his breathing heavy as he presses his hands to his eyes and wills himself to calm down. If he can calm, he can hopefully see past the hurt in his heart and attempt logical thinking, but the hurt itself is like a physical weight, bearing down on his entire being. 

In his own mind, he had pictured scenario after scenario with Daesung and his confession - Daesung rejecting him, Daesung accepting him, Daesung stating he was straight or wanting to just be friends - but he had never even considered the possibility that Daesung was already taken. 

By Jiyong. 

It wasn't the thought of Daesung being taken itself that had been a surprising thought, but Seunghyun had always assumed that Daesung told him everything. To find that he had kept something that felt - at least to Seunghyun - so monumental? It left Seunghyun questioning everything else that Daesung could possibly be keeping from him. 

Seunghyun pulls his hands from his face and turns to face his mirror, staring himself down and willing any of this to make sense, as he lets his eyes trace his features looking back at him. 

Seunghyun feels old. Far too old for his own skin, with his eclectic tastes, his passion for the arts, his love of what Seungri affectionately referred to as ‘old man sweaters’. Seunghyun isn't one for comparisons between himself and others, but the thoughts come unwillingly regardless. Jiyong screams youth with every pore. He is lively and his own interests are of things that are fun and light hearted and - Seunghyun supposed - more enjoyably shared. Jiyong even has youthful features, impish features like some kind of woodland nymph, and Seunghyun was no stranger to the man’s charms. 

Realistically, there should have been no surprise in Daesung falling for their leader. Seunghyun had come close a few times himself. 

A knock at the door pulls Seunghyun from his reflection, and a part of him knows who it will be before he even calls out.   
“Come in.”

Jiyong peers around the door, and Seunghyun can only hold his gaze for a moment, before he turns his attention back to the mirror without a word.   
“Seunghyun…” Jiyong begins, and Seunghyun tries desperately to clamp down on the surge of emotion at that simple softly spoken word.   
“I should have knocked,” Seunghyun says tightly, idly fussing with his hair to give his hands something to do, “I apologise for the intrusion.”  
Jiyong heaves out a sigh.  
“Don't be all professional with me now, Hyun.”

Seunghyun scoffs, maybe a little more bitter than he'd intended, and forces himself to meet Jiyong’s gaze as his leader and closest friend moves closer.   
“You'd rather I wasn't? That I sit here casually and chat like buddies over the fact I just saw one of our maknaes-” Seunghyun falters, unable to finish the sentence as the hurt wells up again, clenching around his chest like a vice. 

Jiyong’s brow furrows. 

“We’re both adults, hyung. I'd like to think we could, yeah. You've never had a problem talking to me about this shit before,” Jiyong frowns, and somehow, Seunghyun is left feeling bad for it. “I know it’s not a gay issue, knowing what I do about you, so what's the problem here?”

Seunghyun isn't sure where to begin. ‘I'm in love with your boyfriend’ doesn't seem appropriate, and ‘I'm more jealous of you than I have a right to be’ doesn't seem to cut it. 

He's always been able to be honest with Jiyong, has always been able to share things with him that he may not have been bold enough to share with others - confessions about his sexuality for one - but this burden upon his shoulders is a whole different ballgame.   
“I was surprised, is all,” Seunghyun opts for, not a lie and yet not a complete truth. 

Jiyong sees through it immediately. 

“Do you love Daesung?” He asks, and hearing it verbalised is like a slap to the face. It's an acknowledgment hanging in the air between them, that Seunghyun is perhaps a little more transparent than he'd thought. Seunghyun turns his gaze back to the mirror and doesn't say a word, and perhaps his silence speaks volumes of its own, as Jiyong takes a seat besides him and presses his fingers to his temple. 

“I'm sorry,” Seunghyun says, not quite sure what he's apologising for, but feeling as if it needs to be said regardless.   
“It's-” Jiyong begins, but falters, and Seunghyun sees him shift uncomfortably in his chair in his peripheral. “It's just sex.”  
Seunghyun turns back to Jiyong, shock and confusion guiding him.   
“I… What?”

“What Dae and I do? It's- I mean, we obviously love each other, but it's platonic. I don't wanna say he's like my brother, because that adds a whole layer of fucked up implication there, but it's just sex,” Jiyong explains. “After the media circus with Kiko and the fact that we can't even have a shit in public without someone writing an article on it, we were talking one day about the fact that strings free sex would be the best way to live life. Still get your kicks, but without the drama of a relationship. Neither of us were keen on relationships any more anyway. The only problem, we figured, was that we can't even get our leashes loose enough for casual hookups. So after a few bottles of soju, it seemed easy - maybe even logical - to come to some kind of arrangement between us.”

Seunghyun mulls it over, lets it stew for a few moments as Jiyong gives him the time required to do so. In some bizarre way, it makes sense. It does, he knows that, but putting everything he thought he knew about Daesung on the side burner is difficult. He's far from one to judge people on their casual affairs, but he had assumed… He wasn't sure what he'd assumed, but he hadn't assumed this. He has a lot of questions. Questions perhaps better suited to Daesung himself, but there is one point that has stood out to him, and his mind chooses that one to vocalise. 

“So… Daesung isn't interested in a relationship?” Seunghyun asks, and Jiyong sighs, slumping further into his chair. A small smile licks at his lips, before it disappears behind his hands, the leader rubbing his palms across his face.   
“Of all the things you say in response to that…”  
“It's the most relevant to me,” Seunghyun replies, and Jiyong snorts, the tension in the room immediately breaking.   
“I don't know what Dae is or isn't interested in pursuing,” Jiyong shrugs, “but whatever it is, it isn't me. Maybe you should be asking him that.”

Seunghyun doesn't say anything, as Jiyong stands and claps a hand on his shoulder.   
“You okay?” He asks, and Seunghyun hesitates, before nodding. He isn't sure how truthful the gesture is, his thoughts as turbulent as they are, but he thinks it may be true enough.   
“We’re all heading back to the hotel. I'll make sure Dae's alone if you want to chat to him there, yeah?” Jiyong offers quietly, squeezing Seunghyun's shoulder before taking his leave. 

Seunghyun stares himself down in the mirror for a few minutes more, before deciding that perhaps the second time’s a charm, and begins psyching himself up for confession attempt number two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all think things are about to get better, but things are gonna get so much worse first :) :) :)
> 
> Pls love me :) :) :)


End file.
